The non-breakup breakup

Things are officially over, but I’ll start at the beginning. “No sex girl” and I didn’t really talk much for the second half of her trip but when she returned to Los Angeles we made plans to go out last night. We went to a seafood place that makes one of my favorite dishes that I cooked for her once on our 4th or 5th date. To be honest, I tried to go into this date with no expectations. Having not seen her for a while, I was starting to mentally move on. My hope was that I would either have no feelings for her, or time would have eased the tension and we’d be able to have a fresh start.

Unfortunately that is not really how it went. We went to the restaurant and as usual had an amazing time together. We laughed, talked about very personal things and thoroughly enjoyed each others company. After dinner I was feeling good about everything, we walked to my car and I kissed her. Immediately I felt the same weirdness that we’ve had since we met. I’m honestly not sure if it is a lack of chemistry for both of us, or if it is more for her and then I can feel her lack of interest. Either way it didn’t feel right.

I drove her home and thought that would be it, but somehow I wound up going up to her apartment. For a minute I thought maybe we would finally throw everything out the window and try to simply enjoy each other. Turns out I was brought upstairs to hear these words, “So should we talk?” It was clear this was the end, and we actually had a nice talk. I’ve never laughed so much during a breakup. We both acknowledged how much we liked each other, and neither of us was sure if it was a simple lack of chemistry, or if we just waited too long to have sex, but either way we both felt way too much pressure and the whole thing didn’t make sense.

It really was the stupidest thing ever. We were breaking up, but from what? We weren’t in a relationship, we weren’t even really friends – we were simply two people who were getting to know each other but realized we weren’t meant to be.

Our mental connection is undeniable and I think we could have been friends if we met under different circumstances but at this point a friendship kind of seems like a waste of more time.


SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I guess I didn’t have better luck after the chopstick incident with this girl. The next time something goes wrong in an Asian restaurant I’m taking it as an omen and getting the hell out of there.