Bait and Switch

I recently adjusted my diet. I found out that I had high cholesterol even though I don’t eat meat. My brother is the most health conscious person I know, so I called him for advice and he told me to stop eating wheat, dairy, alcohol, refined sugar and salt. I know this sounds like a lot of things to cut out but I did it. I now eat mostly fruit, vegetables and fish.

I haven’t really had a problem sticking to the diet in my normal life, but it is proving to be an issue in my dating life. What girl would want to date a guy with this many food restrictions? I certainly don’t think they would want to hear a dude talk about them so I have decided to adjust my brother's diet to not include dates – when I’m with a girl all food is fair game.

That being said, I am trying to choose restaurants that have healthy food options – fish, veggies etc., but last night at dinner I had a dilemma. I knew going in that I wanted to order the sea bass. When we sat down, the lovely lady I had the pleasure of dining with wanted to share a few dishes, one of which was a pizza. I thought it was a good sign that she wanted to share a few plates so I gave in and ate the delicious goat cheese and truffle oil pie.

I called my brother today and told him that I thought he would be mad at me because I ate pizza last night. He said it was ok if I needed to eat the wrong foods once in a while for my mental health. I explained that I didn’t really need to eat it but I didn’t want the girl I like to think I was a manorexic pansy.

I realize that I’m not being completely honest if I don’t tell the girl about my diet, but I hope I’m charming enough that I’ll be able to woo the right girl before I break the news and pull off the old bait and switch.

SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? In addition to the pizza, I also drank a lot of wine. From now on my diet goes out the window if I’m out with a girl I like. But if I decide I don’t like her, I’m going to spend the whole evening talking about how healthy I am and how wheat makes you fat.