Baby Talk

I met a girl at a Halloween party – she was dressed like Barbie and I got her number. We wound up going out for drinks and eventually made it back to my place. We made out for a bit and then she started asking me a million questions – from “do you have any siblings?” To “what do your parents do?” etc. Eventually she asked me what my favorite color was, and I said “I don’t know, I don’t think I have one – I’m not 7.”

Was this a little harsh? Maybe, but I was getting annoyed. My response caused some kind of switch to go off in her, and she started talking like a baby – literally baby talk voice. I don’t remember what she said exactly, because I was freaking out, and couldn’t believe this was actually happening. At one point in baby voice she said, “why don’t you ask me any questions?” I responded, “I don’t know, I’d rather find stuff out naturally, and not turn making out into an interview.”

There was an awkward beat, and then she told me she asked if she could tell me something. I said "sure" and she replied (still in baby voice) “I used to be a stripper.” “That’s ok” I replied – after all, what else was I supposed to say at this point. She said, “Really? it doesn’t bother you?” I said no (but lets be honest, she lost me with the baby talk, and I already knew I’d never go out with her again, so no need to offend her further). She then asked if I wanted a lap dance.

SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? Strippers shouldn’t talk, or give lap dances while fully clothed -- it causes chafing

P.S. I called my dad in the morning. I didn’t give him all the details, but explained that I had a crazy date. He said, “I’ve got news for you” (he’s an “I’ve got news for you” kind of guy) “I’ve got news for you, you have to go through the crazy ones to get to the good ones. Trust me, before I met your mother I went out with A LOT of crazy girls. A LOT.” --Thanks Dad.