Pupcakes

Last week I went out with some work friends to a bar. I got there 35 minutes late, but it was a Hollywood night, so I was the first one there. Two girls came in and I was immediately drawn to one of them. I started chatting them up and when my friends came in I strategically got out of the conversation and hung out with my friends for 20 minutes or so. When it was time to get another round of drinks I went back by them to place the order. One of my friends came with me and he chatted up the friend while vernacular gold effortlessly flowed from my lips. Then another friend came over and was pretty much the best wingman you could ask for. It went well and I got her number.

I decided to call her on Thursday. I had a feeling that I would get her voicemail and rehearsed my message a few times before I called. You see, I’m a pretty good talker but there’s something about leaving voicemails that rattle me. I didn’t want to say too much, but wanted to make sure the message had enough context to ensure she remembered me. I figured that if I was calling her it was obvious that I wanted to go out with her, but should I say that on the message or play it cool? I decided I was going to say it was great meeting her and I’d love to grab dinner sometime, and even though it would be a message I’d make sure I was smiling while talking, hoping that vibe would come through the message.

Well, as expected I got her voicemail but I had psyched myself out and froze. I left an awkward message and totally thought I blew it. I then spent the next 3 hours freaking out, but then she called me back. I played it cool and let it go to voicemail, but called her an hour later. We finally connected on Friday, had a great hour-long conversation and made a date for Sunday.

On the phone she mentioned that she had a dog and just fed her the last “pupcake” (cupcakes for dogs). I took note of this and on my way to pick her up I picked up a dozen. I also took an antacid in the car as preventative medicine. I had butterflies going out with her, wanted to make sure my stomach was settled, and didn’t want to have any indigestion while we were out (as I may have mentioned before I am Jewish). We went to dinner and had a great time. It was a really nice first date, I like her and I think we will go out again this week. It’s nice to like someone.

SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? The pupcakes won her dog over, and I didn’t fart.

Yoga Girl

I recently went on a few dates with a yoga teacher. Not my yoga teacher, but a different one (strangely, I felt like I was cheating on my yoga teacher even though she’s just my teacher and not someone I’ve dated). Anyway, the first 3 dates went well, we seemed to have good chemistry, had drinks, dinner etc. and things were progressing nicely. On date 4 we went to a yoga class together and this is where everything went wrong for me.

You see, I’ve been doing yoga on and off for about 2 years, and definitely have a long way to progress in my practice but when we went to class, yoga girl (who is a trained yoga teacher) wasn’t that much better than me. I was like really? She should be doing crazy poses that I can’t understand or pronounce, yet she needed to use a wall to do a headstand. Even I can do a headstand in the middle of the room! This was a huge turn off for me considering yoga was the main thing she talked about, and now I've seen that she's only in the minor leagues.

Maybe I’m picky, but I wouldn’t tell a girl that I was a baseball coach just because I supervised run down drills for my brother’s little league team.

SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I didn’t like her downward doggie style