False Advertising

I gave in and joined an online dating site. I haven’t had trouble meeting girls in the real world but I haven’t met anyone special, so I figured why not give the internet a shot and expand my pool of potential women to court.

I went out with one of these interweb girls this week. Now, I saw several pictures of this girl, and talked to her on the phone a few times to try and make sure she wasn’t crazy. I don’t know about the crazy part, but she did falsely advertise herself in her pictures.

I mean this girl was cute and skinny in her pictures. I showed up and not only was this girl not cute, but she was chubby, had bad skin, and puffy face. Puffy face you ask – well it’s like her eyes sunk into her head because of how puffy the rest of her face was. Oh and in real life, she was probably 10 years older than her pics. Thinking about it now, her pics must have been taken with actual film.

I was pissed, and wanted to get the F out of there. She started talking about how much she loved dogs, so I decide go with this bit of charming dialogue:

Her: “Do you have any animals? I have 2 dogs.”
Me: “I hate all pets.”
Her: “Even doggies?”
Me: “Yes.”
Her: “How can you hate dogs? You don’t even like golden retrievers? They’re my favorite and so nice.”
Me: “Nope. I hate golden retrievers. They’re ugly.”
Her – Just a blank stare
Me: “Well I guess I could tolerate small dogs because even though you can’t trust them, I know that if things go south I could easily kill them.”

First let me say I don’t really hate dogs, but I figured this crazy talk should have been enough to kill the mood. Well not with puffy face. She must be so lonely that she’s willing to date a potential dog murderer. Eventually I said I was tired and got out of there.

SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I’ll get my advertising fix (false or otherwise) from MAD MEN