I’ve heard that when 2 or more women live together, it is common for their cycles to synchronize. I’m sure that there is some scientific explanation having to do with the earth’s gravitational pull, the moon or that people are made up of energy and if they live together, they start to vibrate on the same wavelength. Whatever the explanation, I can sort of wrap my head around the concept, but what I don’t understand is why I am menstruating now that my roommate is a girl.
Let me be clear that no part of my body is bleeding and I do not have a uterus. I do however notice that my moods change in similar ways to my roommate and we both get more depressed around the same time (usually right around when she’s getting her period). Why do I know when she’s getting her period you ask? Well about once a month the Ferrero Rocher’s I got 4 Hanukkah’s ago mysteriously disappear.
I guess this phenomenon is kind of like when men have sympathy pains while their wives are in childbirth, so I guess the best way to describe my otherwise unexplainable mood swings is that it is my sympathy period. It seems like we get in a funk about our relationships (or sometimes lack thereof) around the same time. It’s actually not that bad because at least I don’t feel like I’m alone, I have someone to talk to about it, and lucky for me I don’t have to deal with cramps or breast tenderness.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? We watched “Cougar Town” and ate a pound of chocolate.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Forbidden Fruit
I went out on a “date” with 2 of my best friends a few days ago. They are a married couple with a baby, so this night out had been planned for weeks. We went to dinner, then to see an old friend play a concert at a local rock venue. Both dinner and the concert were great, and at the concert I met a girl.
I excused myself to go to the restroom (just a #1), and as is typical, there was a line for the women’s room but no line for the men. I went to open the door, and as I did so, a girl on the women’s line said “there’s someone in there.” I’m not sure if this didn’t register or if I was ignoring her but I confidently pushed the door open, and sure enough it was a small 1-stall bathroom and there was a guy there making some yellow. I immediately turned around and walked out to form a men’s line and as I walked out I apologized to the girl who had warned me. No sooner than the words “I’m sorry” came out of my mouth did I realize how ridiculous it was to apologize to the girl and not the guy at the toilet that I just walked in on. I made some kind of witty comment along the same lines to the girl, we shared a laugh and parted ways to take care of our own business in each respective water closet.
A few minutes later the show started and really tall guy stood in front of me, so I went to scope out a better place to stand. As I did some recon, I bumped right into bathroom girl and she shot me a big smile. I started talking to her and asked where she was from (she had an accent but it was hard to distinguish in the loud room). It turns out she grew up in Germany, but also lived in Spain and moved to LA about a year ago. Her English was perfect and for someone who only learned the language 8 years ago she really got my sarcasm, which is often lost on foreigners.
We talked through most of the concert (I thought she was very cute) and eventually I got her number. She mentioned that she was bad with names (which made me realize she forgot mine) so I sent her a text with my name, and a lot of funny references from our conversation all packed into 160 characters.
I will say that I did feel like I was doing something wrong or dangerous in a weird way by not telling her that I was Jewish (I guess even though I was born in 1980, I’m not over the whole WWII thing).
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? After 65 years, I finally received reparations for my people.
I excused myself to go to the restroom (just a #1), and as is typical, there was a line for the women’s room but no line for the men. I went to open the door, and as I did so, a girl on the women’s line said “there’s someone in there.” I’m not sure if this didn’t register or if I was ignoring her but I confidently pushed the door open, and sure enough it was a small 1-stall bathroom and there was a guy there making some yellow. I immediately turned around and walked out to form a men’s line and as I walked out I apologized to the girl who had warned me. No sooner than the words “I’m sorry” came out of my mouth did I realize how ridiculous it was to apologize to the girl and not the guy at the toilet that I just walked in on. I made some kind of witty comment along the same lines to the girl, we shared a laugh and parted ways to take care of our own business in each respective water closet.
A few minutes later the show started and really tall guy stood in front of me, so I went to scope out a better place to stand. As I did some recon, I bumped right into bathroom girl and she shot me a big smile. I started talking to her and asked where she was from (she had an accent but it was hard to distinguish in the loud room). It turns out she grew up in Germany, but also lived in Spain and moved to LA about a year ago. Her English was perfect and for someone who only learned the language 8 years ago she really got my sarcasm, which is often lost on foreigners.
We talked through most of the concert (I thought she was very cute) and eventually I got her number. She mentioned that she was bad with names (which made me realize she forgot mine) so I sent her a text with my name, and a lot of funny references from our conversation all packed into 160 characters.
I will say that I did feel like I was doing something wrong or dangerous in a weird way by not telling her that I was Jewish (I guess even though I was born in 1980, I’m not over the whole WWII thing).
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? After 65 years, I finally received reparations for my people.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Picasso
When Pablo Picasso started painting, he went through different periods. He had his blue period and rose period before finally moving on to the style we all know him for, cubism. I think I’m going through a similar phase in my dating life. When I first started writing this blog, I had just broken up with a girl who was a brunette, and most of the girls I have dated since then were also brunettes. Well, this week I think I have officially moved on to my blonde period. I had 3 dates, with 3 blonde girls, all of whom I was very attracted to.
The first girl had very short blonde hair, was cute and kind of hipstery. We had drinks and it was fun. We work in the same business so that gave us something to talk about. Overall, I’d give the date a B-. I’ll may go out with her again, unless I meet someone I really click with.
The second girl had long, wavy, magazine hair and was very hot. I did find out that some of that hair was not hers but extensions. We had a great time, but she is a high maintenance kind of chick, and we met at a bar, so I’m not sure I want to date someone like that, but she is hot enough to keep me open minded. I’d give it a solid B.
The third girl was cute, funny, quirky and interesting. We had a pretty good date and we actually got to know each other through meaningful conversation. Overall, I give this one a B+, and I’ll give her a call in a few days.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? It was a pretty good week, but I’m keeping my options open, as there are more dates to be had. I guess I’m still considering the greater Los Angeles area to be like my blank dating canvas.
The first girl had very short blonde hair, was cute and kind of hipstery. We had drinks and it was fun. We work in the same business so that gave us something to talk about. Overall, I’d give the date a B-. I’ll may go out with her again, unless I meet someone I really click with.
The second girl had long, wavy, magazine hair and was very hot. I did find out that some of that hair was not hers but extensions. We had a great time, but she is a high maintenance kind of chick, and we met at a bar, so I’m not sure I want to date someone like that, but she is hot enough to keep me open minded. I’d give it a solid B.
The third girl was cute, funny, quirky and interesting. We had a pretty good date and we actually got to know each other through meaningful conversation. Overall, I give this one a B+, and I’ll give her a call in a few days.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? It was a pretty good week, but I’m keeping my options open, as there are more dates to be had. I guess I’m still considering the greater Los Angeles area to be like my blank dating canvas.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Is this a date?
I met a girl at a party and we got along great. She is a friend of a friend and we flirted, joked around and laughed the whole night. She came to the party with another friend of hers and after a while her friend wanted to leave. She asked to see my phone and put her number in it.
I thought this was a great sign and my hard work that night had paid off. I called her a few days later and left her a message. She texted me back, and eventually I asked her to dinner. Well, when I told my mutual friend about her, I was told that this girl had a boyfriend. That’s weird to me because I don’t think a girl with a boyfriend would or should be putting her number (unprovoked mind you) into a guy’s phone.
Well, I decided I would go to dinner and try to figure it out. We showed up and I tried to make some subtle references to make it sound like we were on a date. I thought she did the same, but then when we ordered wine I said “cheers” and she said something weird like “to new friends,” but then immediately thought that was a weird thing to say and we laughed about it, but now I was again unsure what the dynamic was. Dinner continued, and we did have a really nice time and I did like her a lot. She went to use the restroom, and I tried to pay the bill before she got back. She must have only gone #1 because she got back before I could sign the bill. She thanked me and thought it was sweet that I did that.
We talked a little more, and eventually (in what seemed like an appropriate time) I in a cute but awkwardly charming way said something like "Can I be awkward for a second, but then we can move past it and enjoy our desert?” She laughed and agreed, so I continued “Well I have to say that I’m not sure if this is a date or not because I thought it was, but then (Insert name here) told me you had a boyfriend, so I wasn’t sure." She said that she did not have a boyfriend but that happened recently. I thought that was good, and at another point she said something like "I'm
sure we will get to that on another dinner date."
We did not kiss goodnight or anything but she said she had fun and we said we should hang out again. Later that night she texted me saying "Thank you so much again for a wonderful evening!" I responded, "It was my pleasure. I had a great time and would love to see you again
(texting while driving is what I'm doing and its dangerous)."
She didn't respond.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I think it was a date, so I called her today. I guess now I’ll wait to see if she calls me back.
I thought this was a great sign and my hard work that night had paid off. I called her a few days later and left her a message. She texted me back, and eventually I asked her to dinner. Well, when I told my mutual friend about her, I was told that this girl had a boyfriend. That’s weird to me because I don’t think a girl with a boyfriend would or should be putting her number (unprovoked mind you) into a guy’s phone.
Well, I decided I would go to dinner and try to figure it out. We showed up and I tried to make some subtle references to make it sound like we were on a date. I thought she did the same, but then when we ordered wine I said “cheers” and she said something weird like “to new friends,” but then immediately thought that was a weird thing to say and we laughed about it, but now I was again unsure what the dynamic was. Dinner continued, and we did have a really nice time and I did like her a lot. She went to use the restroom, and I tried to pay the bill before she got back. She must have only gone #1 because she got back before I could sign the bill. She thanked me and thought it was sweet that I did that.
We talked a little more, and eventually (in what seemed like an appropriate time) I in a cute but awkwardly charming way said something like "Can I be awkward for a second, but then we can move past it and enjoy our desert?” She laughed and agreed, so I continued “Well I have to say that I’m not sure if this is a date or not because I thought it was, but then (Insert name here) told me you had a boyfriend, so I wasn’t sure." She said that she did not have a boyfriend but that happened recently. I thought that was good, and at another point she said something like "I'm
sure we will get to that on another dinner date."
We did not kiss goodnight or anything but she said she had fun and we said we should hang out again. Later that night she texted me saying "Thank you so much again for a wonderful evening!" I responded, "It was my pleasure. I had a great time and would love to see you again
(texting while driving is what I'm doing and its dangerous)."
She didn't respond.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I think it was a date, so I called her today. I guess now I’ll wait to see if she calls me back.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Rebound
Mentally, I felt completely emasculated after hanging out with “no sex girl.” I don’t think she ever saw me as a sexual being and I felt like I might as well have not had a penis when I was around her. I never felt like that before, and was afraid of getting pulled down into a funk, so I realized I needed to do something drastic.
A few days after the "non-breakup breakup," I went out with a new girl. I had met her while I was dating "no sex girl" but since I had already felt like that wasn't going to work out, I got her number anyway. She was cute and nice, but I didn't see her as someone I was going to get into a relationship with. We had a good enough time though and I made a move.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT: I was kind of like Shaquille O’Neal -- I went for the rebound and it turned into a slam dunk. Just don’t ask me to shoot free throws.
A few days after the "non-breakup breakup," I went out with a new girl. I had met her while I was dating "no sex girl" but since I had already felt like that wasn't going to work out, I got her number anyway. She was cute and nice, but I didn't see her as someone I was going to get into a relationship with. We had a good enough time though and I made a move.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT: I was kind of like Shaquille O’Neal -- I went for the rebound and it turned into a slam dunk. Just don’t ask me to shoot free throws.
Monday, June 28, 2010
The non-breakup breakup
Things are officially over, but I’ll start at the beginning. “No sex girl” and I didn’t really talk much for the second half of her trip but when she returned to Los Angeles we made plans to go out last night. We went to a seafood place that makes one of my favorite dishes that I cooked for her once on our 4th or 5th date. To be honest, I tried to go into this date with no expectations. Having not seen her for a while, I was starting to mentally move on. My hope was that I would either have no feelings for her, or time would have eased the tension and we’d be able to have a fresh start.
Unfortunately that is not really how it went. We went to the restaurant and as usual had an amazing time together. We laughed, talked about very personal things and thoroughly enjoyed each others company. After dinner I was feeling good about everything, we walked to my car and I kissed her. Immediately I felt the same weirdness that we’ve had since we met. I’m honestly not sure if it is a lack of chemistry for both of us, or if it is more for her and then I can feel her lack of interest. Either way it didn’t feel right.
I drove her home and thought that would be it, but somehow I wound up going up to her apartment. For a minute I thought maybe we would finally throw everything out the window and try to simply enjoy each other. Turns out I was brought upstairs to hear these words, “So should we talk?” It was clear this was the end, and we actually had a nice talk. I’ve never laughed so much during a breakup. We both acknowledged how much we liked each other, and neither of us was sure if it was a simple lack of chemistry, or if we just waited too long to have sex, but either way we both felt way too much pressure and the whole thing didn’t make sense.
It really was the stupidest thing ever. We were breaking up, but from what? We weren’t in a relationship, we weren’t even really friends – we were simply two people who were getting to know each other but realized we weren’t meant to be.
Our mental connection is undeniable and I think we could have been friends if we met under different circumstances but at this point a friendship kind of seems like a waste of more time.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I guess I didn’t have better luck after the chopstick incident with this girl. The next time something goes wrong in an Asian restaurant I’m taking it as an omen and getting the hell out of there.
Unfortunately that is not really how it went. We went to the restaurant and as usual had an amazing time together. We laughed, talked about very personal things and thoroughly enjoyed each others company. After dinner I was feeling good about everything, we walked to my car and I kissed her. Immediately I felt the same weirdness that we’ve had since we met. I’m honestly not sure if it is a lack of chemistry for both of us, or if it is more for her and then I can feel her lack of interest. Either way it didn’t feel right.
I drove her home and thought that would be it, but somehow I wound up going up to her apartment. For a minute I thought maybe we would finally throw everything out the window and try to simply enjoy each other. Turns out I was brought upstairs to hear these words, “So should we talk?” It was clear this was the end, and we actually had a nice talk. I’ve never laughed so much during a breakup. We both acknowledged how much we liked each other, and neither of us was sure if it was a simple lack of chemistry, or if we just waited too long to have sex, but either way we both felt way too much pressure and the whole thing didn’t make sense.
It really was the stupidest thing ever. We were breaking up, but from what? We weren’t in a relationship, we weren’t even really friends – we were simply two people who were getting to know each other but realized we weren’t meant to be.
Our mental connection is undeniable and I think we could have been friends if we met under different circumstances but at this point a friendship kind of seems like a waste of more time.
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? I guess I didn’t have better luck after the chopstick incident with this girl. The next time something goes wrong in an Asian restaurant I’m taking it as an omen and getting the hell out of there.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
More Confused
Still no solution, but the girl went out of town for a few days. We spoke before she left and it seemed like she was feeling better about things since we talked. She texted and called me a few times and I was starting to feel good about everything. I was actually happy that she is out of town, and figured a week and a half away can help things and hopefully when she gets back some of the pressure will be off.
I went to yoga this morning and sent her a text. She didn’t respond for hours, which was fine, and then eventually said she would call me later on. She did, and I felt like her energy was weird, and the call was not great. Maybe I’m so in my head at this point that I’m over thinking everything, but I don’t know why this has to be so difficult. I just want to keep hanging out with a girl that I like and have fun. Is that too much to ask?
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? Well, it is actually still tonight and I’m in a funk.
I went to yoga this morning and sent her a text. She didn’t respond for hours, which was fine, and then eventually said she would call me later on. She did, and I felt like her energy was weird, and the call was not great. Maybe I’m so in my head at this point that I’m over thinking everything, but I don’t know why this has to be so difficult. I just want to keep hanging out with a girl that I like and have fun. Is that too much to ask?
SO HOW WAS LAST NIGHT? Well, it is actually still tonight and I’m in a funk.
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